So I had a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of day. Some girl who is a friend of a friend has a huge film out right now, and that's probably not even why it's a "feel sorry for myself" day... but I"ll blame it on that. Honestly, if I want to feel sorry for myself, I could seek out some things far worse than someone else's success. And I usually feel inspired by seeing other's succes...but I guess it was just seeing a commercial at the wrong time. I was all "I'm 28 and everyone thinks I'm 33 and I have no agent still eventhough I'm so talented and trained and wah wah wah... will it ever happen?? wah!!!" and then I saw the commercial for the film she's in and was like "see??!! see!!!? why am I here still? she's got that film, how come I don't have something like that?"
So I had to have a little talk with myself about how happiness has nothing to do with accomplishing or getting your dreams (sarcastic eyeroll), but about living in the moment, about the people we love...blah blah blah.
But when I really think about it, I realize that this is true. And it is how I've learned to sustain myself in a career that can take decades before "breaking in" in a serious way. I've learned that my life is right now, and that really, it's pretty damn good.
Because at least I get to pursue my dreams
Because at least I'm alive (most people who have been alive are dead now)
Because I have an amazing husband who I cherish and nothing makes me happier than eating dinner together and then drinking wine while watching a rented movie
Because I have a puppy I adore
Because I love my parents and get to spend wonderful time with them
Because I have amazing cheekbones (hehehe..I milk this one for all it's worth.)
So yeah... serenity now goddamit.
