Would like a side career

There is a lot of down time in an actor's life. Well, at least for me there is. Because I am lucky enough to have a husband who supports me, I do not have to work at a restaurant anymore. But the downside to this is that I have way too much time on my hands. And since we do have to really budget our funds, it's not like I can go "lunch" with friends all the time. Now that they have raised the subway fare, I'm also avoiding riding into the city unless it is work-related. So this results in me feeling pretty isolated and bored many days. This is why I think I would benefit from a side career. Not only would it be great to make some money, but I need something else to focus on and distract me between "gigs."

The hard part is coming up with a side career that suits me, and is also flexible with acting. I love fitness. I spend many days working out and dabbling in yoga and pilates. So, I am contemplating becoming a personal trainer. Getting certified is a really commitment though. The process is pricey and time-consuming. And I don't want this to be yet another thing I have to hustle constantly for with little results.

Well, maybe the universe will whisper a great idea in my ear. I feel like I'm wasting my life just sitting around all the time. I want to feel busy and useful and productive.

Will try to update more frequently, though probably I'm the only one reading this.

Serenity now...goddamit

So I had a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of day. Some girl who is a friend of a friend has a huge film out right now, and that's probably not even why it's a "feel sorry for myself" day... but I"ll blame it on that. Honestly, if I want to feel sorry for myself, I could seek out some things far worse than someone else's success. And I usually feel inspired by seeing other's succes...but I guess it was just seeing a commercial at the wrong time. I was all "I'm 28 and everyone thinks I'm 33 and I have no agent still eventhough I'm so talented and trained and wah wah wah... will it ever happen?? wah!!!" and then I saw the commercial for the film she's in and was like "see??!! see!!!? why am I here still? she's got that film, how come I don't have something like that?"

So I had to have a little talk with myself about how happiness has nothing to do with accomplishing or getting your dreams (sarcastic eyeroll), but about living in the moment, about the people we love...blah blah blah.

But when I really think about it, I realize that this is true. And it is how I've learned to sustain myself in a career that can take decades before "breaking in" in a serious way. I've learned that my life is right now, and that really, it's pretty damn good.

Because at least I get to pursue my dreams
Because at least I'm alive (most people who have been alive are dead now)
Because I have an amazing husband who I cherish and nothing makes me happier than eating dinner together and then drinking wine while watching a rented movie
Because I have a puppy I adore
Because I love my parents and get to spend wonderful time with them
Because I have amazing cheekbones (hehehe..I milk this one for all it's worth.)

So yeah... serenity now goddamit.

"light" nudity

I just read a breakdown for a film, and it said "light nudity" is required. Light nudity? That's a first. Never heard that one before.

youtube video

So I shot a video the other day for youtube for a really funny writer. It was a lot of fun, the only problem is the sound. She uses a home video camera, which is fine for the purposes of "just doing this for fun", but if we had good sound, it would feel pretty professional actually. Also, you never are supposed to "project" your voice on camera, because that comes across as "acting." So therefore my voice sounds soft since we had no microphones hooked up to me. Oh well. It was fun, and the important thing is that everytime I act on camera, I learn tons. And this was the first time I was able to watch myself on camera and not feel embarassed/cringe. So yay for that!

I highly recommend Michael Caine's book about film acting. It's an easy read, funny, charming and highly educational. Of course, it wouldn't have made sense to me prior to my training.

You want to be an actor?

If you are considering becoming a professional actor, I'd suggest getting the book "How to be a Working Actor." It is a great overview of the business and how to get started. And if you aren't in one of the major acting cities, try to take as many acting opportunities as you can where you live. Build up your skills and resume that way. And if you do decide to come to NYC, I highly recommend getting yourself into a top two year acting program, even if you studied acting in college. I'd recommend first and foremost Bill and Suzanne Esper (study with them, and everyone whose anyone in LA or NYC will know that you have fab training), Terry Schreiber, and I also hear Michael Howard is very good. Remember that networking schools are not acting shools. You want to study first with an acting teacher and get your skills sharpened before you start taking "classes" with casting directors or agents.

That's just my experience, and how I would have done things if I knew then what I know now. :)

Angela Lansbury and Tony's

So I was watching the Tony's the other night and was saddened to hear Angela Lansbury say that at her age, she never would have expected to receive something like that. What strikes me about that, is the fact that so many male actors reach the pinnacle of their careers at "that age," whereas female actresses find few opportunities to act at all. I mean, if Angela Lansbury wants to be getting acting work at her age, there should be people beating down her door. It shouldn't be a surprise to her to win a Tony, it should be the next logical step that she should only get more awards as she grows as a person and an actress. But the truth is, most writers are still male, and most producers are still male, and so the majority of roles are still male, and if they are female, they are young females. So people say "well then, why don't you write?" BECAUSE I'M NOT A WRITER. And frankly, I resent that I already have to work twice as hard to get half as far in this business, and expecting that on top of that, I'm suddenly supposed to become brilliant at a whole other art form (writing) in order to get an opportunity as an actress is just...argh!!!!

I get frustrated that my gender is such a handicap in this business. I'm an artist as much as any male actor out there, and I should have equal opportunities in my chosen business. But that just isn't the cast when it comes to acting. I'm hoping that times are changing. I have friends who are in films and on tv who shave off a good five years off their age, because being 30 and over means less work. Unfortunately for me, like I said earlier, people have thought that I'm in my 30s since I turned 23.

But there's no use in focusing on this problem. All it does is upset me and take the motivation out of my day. The only way to solve this is to just keep doing what I love, and supporting the work of "older" actresses so that producers understand that people DO want to see older female characters.

Of course it doesn't help when you have women like Paris Hilton calling herself an actress. That sort of thing tends to continue the stereotype that female actresses are merely pretty decorations for the camera, as opposed to male actors who are artists of the human spirit.

Great. Now showering seems pointless. ....Must.... Find..... Motivation....

And no I do not hate men. I love men. I simply want my experience in this world to have equal opportunities. Nothing to do with hating men, but it's sad that often times more opportunities for women is automatically assumed to mean hate towards men. That is very revealing in my opinion.

New tops!

I just bought some new tops and they are super cute and perfect for commercial auditions. Now that the warm weather is here, I realized that all I have are tank tops. So now I have some cute blouses that fit the "business casual" category. I don't really like shopping and I often put it off for months, so I'm proud of myself that I went and got what I needed. It helps to remember that clothes are part of my career marketing tools; otherwise I just feel frivolous.